Dear someone,

I have this sudden fear that I am alone in the world.  My heart aches as if it is going to break.  Maybe it will.

It has been quite a few years now since I have felt like this.  It is the first time in years that I have thoughts in my head of how easy it would be to be gone.  Permanently gone.

I hate it when my thoughts and feelings rule my logic.  Those times when I can't just put them all away and do what is *right* no matter how I feel.

My thoughts today are black.  I am fixated on death.  It is ALL I can think of.

And with all likelihood, tomorrow I will go on...  I will go to work and be a wonderful employee... and likely no one will even notice the torturous thoughts going on in my head.